WHAT IS THAT?

Sleep no more

I woke up this morning to the soft, soul-crushing hum of a gas-powered tool doing what it does best—ruining peace. Judging by the relentless grinding, the operator clearly prioritized completing his job over me completing my dream about winning the lottery and ghosting everybody.

I sat up, tossed open the curtains like a dramatic soap opera character, and located the culprit: my neighbor across the yard.

Damn. They’re getting a new deck.

Translation: their all-night "DJ-ain’t-got-no-licensing" parties are about to come back with a vengeance—and now with seating. Fantastic.

I flopped back onto the bed, desperately trying to find the sleep that had fled like a thief in the night, but it was gone. Gone like my quiet weekends.

Now I had two choices: start my day… or lie there staring at the ceiling like a confused mannequin.

Guess which one I picked?